Thursday, July 11, 2013

Putting the Cat to Bed: How "No" can Change Your Life

     My daughter is incredibly smart.  She’s actually kinda scary smart.  At the ripe age of 17 months, just shy of a year and a half, she already understand 90% of what we tell her.  Just the other day she was walking around our living room chasing the cats with a blanket.  She would go up to them and put a blanket on them, saying “Night night” as she did.  It was so cute I think I actually puked a little bit of rainbow afterwards.
     Blown away by her ability to understand that putting a blanket on a creature that is laying down means “night night,” we told her to put the blanket on specific cats to see if she knew their names yet.  We told her, “Maggie, put the blanket on Finnigan!” and she would walk over to our fat orange tabby and drop the blanket on him.  Amazed, we tried it with the new kitten.  “Maggie, put the blanket on Flora!”  Sure enough, she understood and went over to our new little black kitten Flora and put the blanket on her.  “Night night!”
     At this point we were rolling.  It was funny and cute, and honestly I should have videotaped this experience and put it on YouTube.  It would have gone viral in about six seconds and I would be collecting advertising checks from YouTube currently.  Gotta remember to have that camera ready.  But the best part was yet to come.
     After my daughter put the blanket on Flora, the little kitten wriggled out from under the blanket and moved away.  My daughter, being the offspring of two incredibly stubborn people, grabbed the blanket and threw it on top of the cat again, this time shouting “NO!  Night night!”  At this point we couldn’t stop laughing as she began to chase the cat around the room insisting that it was time for her to take a nap. 
     The obvious cuteness and humor here is still levels beyond most of daytime television.  But the incredibly interesting part is that my daughter had heard us say “no” enough times to not only repeat it but completely understand its meaning and purpose as a word.  “NO” is a wonderful word that we all need to learn again and completely understand its use.  Just like my 17 month old daughter, we need to learn how to say “No.”  Especially when it comes to our money.
     When we are making financial decisions (which by the way has a very broad scope, from buying a new house all the way down to buying a Buck Double from McDonald’s), we need to always consider the consequences.  Here are three reasons we should say “no” to a financial decision.

     1.       It doesn’t line up with your budget

     This is the easiest and the hardest reason to say “no.”  It should, of course, be the easiest because if you and your spouse didn’t agree to spend money on something you don’t spend money on it.  This seems like a simple idea and should be easy to follow.  But why is it also the hardest?  Because we are tempted by our old system of doing things.
     If you’re like me, then before you had a budget you were stupid.  And I don’t mean like slack-jawed, drool coming out and unintelligible speech stupid.  I mean “WOO HOO I’LL SPEND ALL THE MONEY” stupid.  That was me.  I spent and spent, because I had just gotten a job that overnight had doubled my measly retail manager income.  I was making (at least in my mind) BANK.  So I just kept spending and spending, and when my cash on hand ran out, I’d go get some more.
     This was an incredibly hard area in my life to learn “no” in until we made our budget.  You see, when you use a budget, some people think it’s a strait jacket that keeps you from having fun.  Ironically, a strait jacket is probably the best analogy for a budget, because the true purpose of a strait jacket is to keep a crazy person from hurting themselves or other people.  That’s what a budget really does for you.  It becomes a tool that helps you to not hurt yourself or your family by making dumb decisions.  When the money in a certain area runs out, you stop spending.
     But the temptation is there.  You’ll be three days from the end of the month and the eating out money has long dried up but you still really want Chinese.  Or the clothing fund ran out last week but you still “need” a new pair of running shoes.  Or the soda machine at work (that takes plastic) is just calling your name and your brain is screaming “come on!  It’s just a dollar!”  It’s moments like these that you need to learn that ancient and powerful word, “no.”
     Understand what I’m about to tell you, because it will help you tremendously.  If you made a budget with your spouse (or had someone you trust review it if you’re single) then you made what is commonly called a “written agreement.”  You put down limitations on paper and said you would follow them.  If you don’t go by what is written on that paper, it is no longer just a financial problem.  It has now become an integrity issue.  Keep that in mind, and suddenly saying “no” becomes a lot easier.

     2.       It doesn’t line up with your goals

     Maybe you’re doing well on not overspending on your budgeted areas.  That’s great.  I struggled with it a lot for a while but over time I built up my “no” muscles.  So what’s next after not breaching your agreements?  Making sure you have goals.
     Let’s say you and your spouse made a goal of reaching $10,000 in the bank.  A very admirable goal indeed, and honestly not nearly as hard as you think it is.  Let’s fast forward to the end of the year when you’re sitting at $9500.  You’re so close you can smell it.  You come to the end of your month and you have an extra $300 sitting in your hands.  Do you use that money to come closer to your goal?  Or do you use that money to upgrade your PC’s video card?
     This might be a bit of an easy example, because obviously upgrading your PC’s video card could wait because you’re so stinking close to your goal.  But what if instead of being “so close” at $9500 you were still struggling at $2000?  Buying that video card upgrade might not seem like such a crazy idea, especially if everyone involves agrees on it.  Even budgeted items can be detrimental to your goals if not kept in check.  At the beginning of the month you budgeted to have the money for a video card upgrade, but if not buying that card could help you reach your goal a lot faster, then this is a perfect instance where telling yourself “no” is important. 
     You have to understand that there’s nothing wrong with buying a video card upgrade for your computer.  But doing so will delay reaching your goal.  Decide ahead of time what is more important: the security your family will have with a five-digit savings account, or being able to play Skyrim on ultra-high settings.  Remember, after you flush out your savings you can always go back and buy that upgrade later.  GASP!  Delaying pleasure now to fulfill your goals?  Yeah, that’s what adults do.  They say “no.”

     3.       It doesn’t benefit you

     Overall, looking at your budget every month, you should start to see patterns.  You should really start to see what is important to you.  If this is how you want to live your life, you have to be consistent.  But also, look at your budget again.  Is everything on there really good for you?  Are you budgeting $300 for eating out each month and blowing it at fast food that’s bad for you?  Are you budgeting $200 for your shoe-shopping addiction?  Are you budgeting $500 per month for video games? 
     Yes, by budgeting you get your spending in shape and really learn to control your money, but look deeper than that.  Your budget every month reflects your life.  Every item on that list reflects your values, your hopes, your dreams, your vices, and your faults.  Use your budget as a divining rod to show you the areas of your life that need work. 
     Maybe if you dropped that eating out budget from $300 to $100, took a fifty out of that extra $200 and bought a gym membership, you could lose some weight and save $150.  Perhaps if you cut back on your shoe shopping you could afford that vacation this summer.  Perhaps (and this one hits home pretty hard) if you cut back on video games every month you would have more time to spend working on that book you’ve been telling everyone you want to write.  By lowering your video game budget, you lower its value in your life and increase the value of other things.

     This is why budgeting is so important.  It helps you to control you.  Come on, people, it’s time to put the cat to bed even if it doesn’t want to go.  Learn to say “no” and it will open so many other “yes” opportunities in your life.  Not rocket science, just Common Cents.  Night night.

-Heath

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