All of that was a little mushy, but it's true. It also is true that it actually angers me when I see people who claim they can't feed their kids but they have incredibly nice cars, the newest iPhone, and can afford to go buy a new pair of designer boots. I knew a man who "helped" his daughter by taking out student loans for her every year of her college. This man also "helped" himself to taking out more than was needed for tuition and pocketing some money for his own use. He kept his finances separate from the rest of the family, and after his daughter graduated he stuck her with the bill. That is someone who has their financial priorities WAY out of whack.
So what does the Bible say about our financial priorities? If you remember my last post, I said that giving should always be our first priority. Next on the list, however, is taking care of your FAMILY FIRST.
I Timothy 5:8
"But if anyone does not provide for his own, especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
Prioritizing Family
This statement made by the apostle Paul has a very strong point to it: your family should be priority. This entire passage is about how the church is to take care of true widows and children, but the church has no business taking care of someone that their family can take care of. That is why it says that is someone doesn't take care of their own they have denied the faith. Because as much as the church should be engaging in benevolence, we are to take care of our families. Biblically, if someone in your family is on welfare and you haven't at least attempted to help them, you are disobeying scripture. Now, if the person leaves your family and decides to reject your help, that is on them. But we are to take care of our families. I know too many people that the children have moved out and are struggling financially but the parents are sitting on massive nest eggs. That is not good prioritizing.
If someone in your family, be it immediate or extended, is struggling financially, it is not the church's job to care for them. It is yours. So help them as best you are able. If you are able to help financially, do so. If you are able to help them by giving them a book on finances, do so. If you want to share my blog with them, do so. But do something. Sitting idle and saying "well they got themselves in this mess they can get themselves out of it" is a sinful attitude. Again, if they reject your help, that's their deal.
But look at the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15. That son blows his inheritance on stupid decisions. Because I'm sure he was a good father (though Scripture doesn't specifically say this) I believe he would have tried to help his son man wise decisions with his money. But the son refused and wasted it. How did the father treat the son when he came back, broken and destitute? He loved him. Our family members may make poor decisions, but we are to help them, forgive them if they have hurt us, and love them no matter what.
Prioritizing Bills
Another thing that bothers me is when I hear about people who can pay their bills but pay them in the wrong order. Listen, if your credit card payments are up do date but you're behind on your mortgage...you have some priorities out of order. If your car payments are current but your lights are about to be cut off, your priorities are backwards. If your student loans are current but your kids are going to the neighbor's for dinner every night because you don't have any food, your financial priorities are a little off.
Now I want you to get out of debt, don't misunderstand. But I'd rather your credit score plummet than your children go hungry. I'd rather you lose your car than you lose your house. If you are in a situation where you have to make these kind of decisions, you need to speak with someone who can help you as soon as you are able. It's a sad story when this happens, but it happens and so it needs to be dealt with.
You, your spouse, and your children are more important than any collector calling you, any bill that arrives in the mail, and any person trying to sell you something. With that in mind, I like what Dave Ramsey teaches: the four walls.
When you're building your house, you first have to lay a firm foundation with a budget. Then you need to make sure you're taking care of your family by putting walls around your house. These four walls are (in order):
FOOD SHELTER TRANSPORTATION UTILITIES
You need to eat, then make sure you have a house, then make sure you can get to work, and then make sure your lights and water still work when you get home. If anything else on your budget takes higher precedence than these things, you need to re-evaluate your budget. Entertainment is not more important than food. Credit card payments are not more important than your mortgage.
"But Heath, my credit card payments are less than my mortgage and I can't afford to pay both!" If this is your situation, you are in what is commonly referred to as a CRISIS. You need to do some serious planning on how you can decrease your spending and increase your income. But when it is all said and done, I would rather you have a horrible credit score and have the credit card company sue you than you lose your house. And I think your family would agree.
I'll address more debt related topics in my series on debts, but for now I'll just say that debt is dumb and if you don't want to have situations like the one I just described (which happens a heck of a lot more often than people want to believe) then avoid debt as best you can.
So keep your family fed and warm first, and then you can have a life afterwards. This is called being a mature, responsible adult, AKA Common Cents.
-Heath
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