So you've decided you need a budget but you have no idea where to start. First, congratulations! You've taken the first step on the road to financial success. Second, let me encourage you to KEEP AT IT.
Making your first budget can be frustrating. Honestly, making your first few budgets can and will be frustrating. If you're married, budget making will cause conflict. If I warn you now, you'll know to expect it and it won't catch you off guard.
Budgeting with a spouse will cause conflict, but you need to understand that conflict isn't always bad. This kind of conflict can be very good for your relationship, because you're both finally opening your eyes to your spending habits. Some of your spending habits are going to be very, very ugly. If you've never been on a budget and you've never really taken into account where your money goes, it's highly likely you're going to find an incredibly high amount of wasted money.
STOP. If you find that you have been wasting money, you need to immediately do the following:
DO NOT SHAME YOURSELF OR YOUR SPOUSE. While neither of you "knew" that the money was going down the drain, you both also knew it. If your spouse is spending money without your knowledge or vice-versa, this is the time when that information comes to a head. Don't shame them or yourself. It took lots of guts to bring that information to the table and even to make the decision to attempt control. Be proud of your spouse or yourself for bringing that to light.
DON'T FREAK OUT. You may have been wasting hundreds of dollars on things like shoes, your spouse may have been wasting hundreds on fishing equipment. Your wife may have been wasting money on expensive haircuts or magazines. Your husband may have been wasting money on car parts or model planes. I don't know what the situation is, but one or both of you have been throwing money away. And you did it because you didn't have a plan. When it comes down to it, it's both parties' fault, and it is also both parties' chance to improve it.
RE-FRAME THE SITUATION. Instead of looking at the unneeded expenses as a waste, look at them as an opportunity. Now you know the areas you both need to cut back in order to win. This helps you to find "extra ammo" in your budget every month that you can throw at things like savings and debts! These expenses may have been hurting you for a while, but the knowledge of them helps you to control them!
MAKE COMPROMISES. "But honey, I need my hair cut at that salon!" "But dear, I needed that GPS fish finder!" "I needed those cook books to keep my other 30 company!" "I needed a vente-caramel double blended mochiata supreme with extra foam every day for the past month!" These are the things you're going to say. I obviously embellished them just a little bit to show you how silly you'll sound to your spouse when you make that argument. Listen, if you're married, your budget is a joint agreement. You BOTH make decisions on it. If you "need" a professional stylist to do your hair for $130 every month, then you and your spouse need to agree on that and budget accordingly. If you "need" an expensive gourmet coffee every morning on your way to work, then you and your spouse need to agree on it. If you can't agree on it, then you need a compromise. "Honey, I'll try to find a less expensive haircut." Or "Babe, I'll try to suffer through the coffee that's free at my office a couple times a week to save money." You have to work together!
It's only when you work together that together you can achieve your goals. Remember, this isn't rocket science, just Common Cents.
-Heath
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